Ya Ummi - Ahmed Bukhatir

Pertama kali dengar nasyeed ni di blog Kak Zany rasanya, terpanggil untuk Neeza mendengarnya lagi. Kalau boleh nak tengok juga video clip kalau ada. Bila tengok video klip tu, tak dapat dibendung airmata ini. Mencurah-curah mengalir sampai selsema jadinya. Walaupun tak faham, tapi dapat bayangkan makna lagu ni. Sudah lah begitu. Penyanyinya pula pandai melagukan lirik nasyeed ni. Ini dah lama sebenarnya dan pernah juga Neeza pasang lagu (tanpa video clip) ni di blog Neeza tak berapa lama dulu.


Dua tiga hari ni, ramai pula kawan-kawan blogger menulis tentang pengorbanan ibu dan baru-baru ni, Kak Rina telah menulis tentang anak derhaka. Rasa geram dan sedih bila baca entry Kak Rina tu.


Kali ini, Neeza cari lirik nasyeed ni untuk diperhatikan makna sebenar setiap patah perkataan yang disebut. Memang sebak dan sayu bila dihayati. Apatah lagi bila teringatkan Ma Neeza di kampung. Betapa besar jasa Ma dan tak terbalas rasanya segala pengorbanan Ma selama ni. Buat kesekian kalinya, air mata ini mengalir lagi... sensitif sikit Neeza ni. Mungkin juga, dalam keadaan sekarang, terlebih-lebih lagi lah sensitifnya.


Tapi, dalam pada tu, ada juga kisah ibu membuang anak (berita 3 4 hari lepas di Malaysia)). Macam mana lah boleh jadi gitu? Wajarkah anak itu membalas pengorbanan ibu yang telah membuangnya itu? Apabila dia besar kelak, wajarkah dia mencari ibunya? Tak tahu lah.. Neeza tak ada jawapan untuk itu...


Neeza sertakan lirik nasyid (dengan translation sekali) ni dibawah ini untuk sama-sama hayati...

CHORUS
I will return oh mother لسوف أعود يا أمي
And kiss your chaste head أقبّل رأسك الزاكي
And supress (blame?) my desires أبتّك كل أشواقي
And taste the scent of your blessings وأرشف عطر يمناك
Besmirch in the richness of your feet أمرغ في ثرى قدميك
my cheek when I meet you خدي حين ألقاك
Water the soil with my tears أروي الترب من دمعي
Happy that you are aliveسرورا في محياك

How many nights did you stay up late فكم أسهرت من ليل
So that I could sleep to my content? لأرقد ملأ أجفاني
And how many times did you thirst وكم أظمأت من جوف
So you could quench my thirst with your tenderness? لترويني بتحناني
And one day I was Ill, I do not forget ويوم مرضت لا أنسى
The tears from you that were like the rain دموعا منك كالمطر
And your eyes which stayed awake وعينا منك ساهرة
fearing that I may be in danger تخاف علي من خطر
And the day we parted at dawn ويوم وداعنا فجرا
and Oh what a harsh dawn that was وما أقساه من فجر
Words cannot explain what يحار القول في وصف الذي
I felt when I abandoned you لاقيت من هجري
And you told me things which I still وقلت مقولة لا زلــت
remember throughout my life مدّكرا بها دهري
"You will never find a heart محال أن ترى صدرا
more tender towards you than mine" أحن عليك من صدري
"You will never find a heart محال أن ترى صدرا
more tender towards you than mine" أحن عليك من صدري

CHORUS

obedience to you, oh want of my life.. ببرك يا منى عمري
[is what] the God of existence has instructed me to do. إله الكون أوصاني
Your content is the secret of my success رضاؤك سر توفيقي
And my love of you is the secret of my beleif وحبك ومض إيماني
And the sincerety of your prayer [for me].. وصدق دعائك انفرجت
has resolved my misfortunes and my sadness به كربي وأحزاني
My love towards you.. ودادك لا يشاطرني
no human being loves anything like it به أحد من البشر
You are the beating of my heart فأنت النبض في قلبي
And you are what lights my vision وأنت النور في بصري
And you are the tune on my lips وأنت اللحن في شفتي
My problems cease when I see your face بوجهك ينجلي كدري
To you I do return oh mother إليك أعود يا أمي
Tomorrow I rest from my journey غدا أرتاح من سفري
And a second age will begin for me ويبدأ عهدي الثاني
and the branches will blossom with flowers ويزهو الغصن بالزهر

Sedikit perubahan dan Happy Face

Berbalik kepada cerita semalam, lepas pada sesi tinggi suara oleh penulis blog ni, helper tu mellow down sikit nampaknya. Dia tak menjawab lagi. Tak tahulah sama ada dia takut ataupun dia terkedu. Tapi, itu sama sekali tidak mententeramkan hati Neeza.


Bila difikir balik, agaknya helper yang jenis dia ni memang suka dilayan gitu. Garang-garang dan marah-marah. Baru lah dia dengar. Kalau lembut-lembut, dia ingat kita anggap dia macam anak-anak aje agaknya. Mungkin sebab tu lah diorang ni ikut kata bila duduk rumah pak arab. Pak Arab layan diorang tegas. Mak Arab lah kot. Pak Arab tak pasti sebab ada jugak yang jadikan diorang ni s*x slave. Mungkin jugaklah.. slave in everything kot.


Masa memula ambik minah ni dulu, Neeza tak nak lah garang sangat. Memang tak sampai hati nak bagi arahan jerit-jerit aje sebab Neeza pun tak suka kalau orang jerit-jerit. Jadi, setiap kali nak suruh buat apa-apa, Neeza akan cakap baik-baik saja. Baik in a sense tak jerit. Kadang-kadang Neeza berborak dengan dia. Nampak agak friendly lah kot. Tapi rupanya, bila Neeza buat macam tu, dia pijak kepala. Dia buat lebih kurang pulak kerja di rumah yang sememangya tugas dia sebagai helper. Bangun pun tiap-tiap hari nak dikejut.


Semenjak semalam, Neeza akan jerit aje kalau nak panggil dia. Sebelum ni bila Neeza jerit, dia jerit balik - "Iye!!" ataupun "Heii!!!". Mungkin sebab Neeza tak pernah jerit kot. Tapi lepas incident semalam, bila Neeza jerit, slow aje dia jawab. Jadi, memang Neeza nekad, no more lembut-lembut. Bagi arahan buat kerja pun tegas saja. Takde borak-borak lagi. Memang dia nak dilayan macam tu. Nasiblah...


Pagi ni, Neeza tak kejut dia. Lepas solat subuh Neeza stay aje dalam bilik. Lepas tu dengar bunyi buzzer washing machine. Maknanya dia dah bangun dalam 1 jam yang lepas. Hah! Boleh pulak bangun sendiri rupanya. Sebelum ni mesti nak kena kejut. Lepas ni, kalau dia tak bangun pada waktu yang dia patut bangun, memang Neeza nak jerit aje.


Walau bagaimanapun, impian untuk tukar maid tu masih ada. Neeza tak tahu kalau-kalau perubahan ni sementara saja. Esok-esok dia dah selesa balik, dia buat balik. Tak sanggup....


Habislah cerita sakit hati tu...

****************************************

Kita sambung cerita happy face pulak.


Hari ni, Insyaallah, Abang akan tiba dari Mekah. Sepatutnya flight jam 9 pagi dari Thaif tapi tadi masa Neeza call, bas yang bawak abang and the group stranded kat gate airport Thaif. Tidak dibenarkan masuk. Aiport congested. Mungkin flight delay.


Kesian pulak kat Abang. Dari jam 2 pagi duduk dalam bas. Bukannya jauh sangat tapi bas berlegar-legar di Mekah untuk ambik group members yang lain yang tak reti tepati masa. Sepatutnya semua orang kena naik bas at 2am tapi biasalah.. sampai pukul 4 bas masih berlegar menunggu orang. Sabar aje lah. Lepas bas jalan, ada lagi stop at a few places - isi minyak la, toilet la. Then sambung perjalanan lagi. Ni dah pukul 8.30, bas still tak boleh masuk.


Memang dah dijangka pun sebenarnya sebab semalam ialah hari Tasyrik terakhir. Hari last melontar jamrah. Jadi, lepas semalam, semua orang dah ready nak balik. Lagipun esok semua orang kerja di Saudi ni. Kalau jemaah dari tempat lain macam Malaysia, ramai yang tak balik lagi. Ada yang pergi Madinah pulak lepas pada menunaikan haji. Maklumlah jemaah Malaysia yang ikut TH package 40 hari kan.


Neeza sentiasa berdoa agak Abang selamat sampai kerumah. Kejap lagi nak masak pulak. Memang Abang mungkin akan makan dalam flight tapi manakan sama food flight dengan food yang dimasak isteri walaupun tak sedap puuuunnnn... hehehehhh...

Kakak rindu Abah...

Sedih bila dengar Sophea (Kakak) cakap macam tu petang semalam. Dia masuk bilik dan bagi tau Neeza yang dia nak call Abah. Bila Neeza tanya kenapa, dia kata,

"Kakak rindu Abah..."

Kelmarin, selain Neeza, dia lah yang beriya-iya menangis lepas Abah bertolak ke airport. Kami tak hantar Abang ke airport sebab Abang pergi dengan kawan dia. Lagipun siapalah nak drive.


Masa Sophea mintak nak call Abah tu, Neeza tengok jam. Dalam pukul 7.10 pm. Kalau di Mekah, rasanya baru masuk Isyak. Dah tentu Abang sibuk untuk solat jemaah. Neeza bagi tahu Sophea, nanti Ummi call sebab rasanya Abah tengah sibuk nak solat. Sophea nampak frust tapi akur.


Walaupun dah selalu kena marah dengan Abah, dia tak pernah berdendam. Alhamdulillah. Sebelum Abang pergi kelmarin, seperti selalu Abang pesan pada Sophea supaya dengar cakap Ummi. Dia angguk. Bila nampak Neeza tersedu-sedan, dia kedapur. Nampak matanya merah. Dah agak dah. Dia menangis...


Masa kami dinner malam tadi, Sophea cakap, kesian Ummi tak dapat berbincang dengan Abah. Neeza tanya, apa yang dia maksudkan. Dia kata, kalau Abah ada, mesti ada saja Ummi berbincang, pasal kakak la, pasal sekolah la. Dia perasan / pasang telinga rupanya. Neeza bagi tahu dia, orang tua bercakap, tak baik pasang telinga.


Dalam pukul 8.20 pm semalam, Abang call. Neeza, Sophea dan Shahmey ada di bilik tv. Sobhan dan tidur. Nasib baik lah Sophea tak tidur lagi. Kalau tidak, pagi nanti mesti dia akan ungkit yang dia tak dapat cakap dengan Abah. Memang nampak yang memang dia rindukan Abah. Mungkin rindu sebab seharian tak kena marah dengan Abah ataupun tak dapat menyakitkan hati Abah hehee..


Sebenarnya kan Kakak, bukan Kakak saja yang rindukan Abah... Ummi juga.. :(.

Have a safe journey my dear...

After a year and a month, today is the first day we're separated thousands kiometers away. You left me yeterday evening with a spirit of a mujahid and I accompanied you with tears. I shouldn't have cried but I did. My tears is cheap when it comes to you. I can't stop myself from feeling lonely by not having you around. No teasing, no struggling to wake you up in the morning, no funny face and the worse is, nobody's there to comment on my dishes.. :(.


I can't wait to see you again in another 6 days. I hope everything goes great for you over there in the holy place.


While you're away, I'll take care of your 'amanah'. I'll take a good care of myself, I'll take an extra care of our lovely kids and I'll make sure all other belongings of yours are in good condition. Insyaallah...


I'll be missing you my dear...

Semoga panjang umur sayang...

Danish Qawiem Bin Azman ialah cucu lelaki sulung En. Ramli dan Pn. Normah (Ayah dan Ma Neeza) dan anak kedua serta lelaki sulung buat En. Azman dan Pn. Norashima (adik ipar dan adik Neeza). Walaupun Qawiem bukan anak kandung Neeza dan Abang, kami dah menganggap Qawiem dan kakaknya Ainaa macam anak sendiri. Lahirnya Qawiem pada 4 tahun yang lepas memehuni hasrat Ayah dan Ma yang memang nak sangat-sangat cucu lelaki. Sebelum Qawiem, Ayah dan Ma dah ada 4 cucu dan kesemunya perempuan... (takpe.. hantaran tinggi tu hahahaa!!!).


Disebabkan berat yang melebihi 4 kilo, Qawiem terpaksa dilahirkan secara C-Section. Walhal Bada (adik Neeza) lahirkan anak sulungnya Ainaa secara normal. Tapi kata Bada, lebih senang beranak C-Section. Boleh lah dia compare sebab dia merasa kedua-duanya. Bagi Neeza, memang tak tahu sebab semuanya C-Section walaupun pada kelahiran pertama dan kedua dah ada bukaan sehingga 7cm.


Masa Qawiem kecil, dia selalu jadi usikan Pak Ngah dan Pak Langnya (adik-adik Neeza) sebab mata Qawiem sangat kecil dan sepet. Ada yang panggil dia Eric Chia lah. Ada yang panggil Fei Mao lah. Kesian dia. Tapi lihatlah sekarang. Bila dah besar, takde mana Eric Chia atau Fei Mao nya. Memang muka dia ada iras-iras cina (daddy Qawiem iaitu adik ipar Neeza ada darah keturunan cina) tapi cina yang handsome gitu. Bukan senang nak jumpa anak cina berbulu mata lebat dan lentik kan... :). Tambahan lagi, sangat keletah sekarang dia walaupun pada awalnya ibu Qawiem risau sebab Qawiem lambat bercakap. Sekarang ni, langsung tak pelat dia bertutur.


Sempena ulangtahun Qawiem yang ke 4 ni, Ummi doakan Qawiem perolehi kebahagiaan hidup dunia dan akhirat. Semoga Qawiem menjadi anak yang soleh buat Daddy dan Ibu. Juga, menjadi contoh yang baik buat adik-adik. Oppss!!! Qawiem takde adik lagi. Bada!!!! tak paham lagi keeeee???

Updates on us..

I don't know what to write today. Perhaps jotting an update on our little family would be a good entry for today since this blog is like a public diary to me :). Let me begin the updates on us from the youngest to the oldest ;).


Shahmey

Banyak updates on him tapi let it be in his blog. One thing I wanna write in my blog is, I'm so jealous when he always utters "Bibik.. bibik..". The helper has been with us for only about a month but he could say Bibik (very clear) already. I am with him for more than a year and 6 months and only recently that he utters "Mmi.. mmi.." (bukan Ummi pun uhukkk!!). I'm really envy! Only the good thing is, he always prefer me than anyone else :). Yes, that makes me such a proud mother ;).


Sobhan (Coan)

She's not feeling well starting from last Thursday. Her body felt warm and heaty. But, it was only at night (demam malam I think). She complained of headache and asked me to massage her forehead. While we were climbing up the stairs yesterday evening, she told me, "Ummi.. nanti tolong picit kaki Coan ya. Kaki Coan rasa gedar la..". I asked her "Gedar? apa tu?". Then she said "Gedar la..". My husband and I giggled as we really have no idea of what gedar actually means. By the way, this girl likes a create a new vocabulary :).


Sophea (Kakak)

After an almost every hour of nagging by Ummi and Abah, at last, she managed to complete her English workbook, a 90 pages of spelling exercises given by her teacher. It has to be completed and submitted before the winter break which will be on 5th December 2008. It wasn't that difficult (though there were times that I myself don't know what the questions required her to do) but she kept delaying the workbook. Yesterday, she completed it and today and the rest of 4 days more, she can enjoy watching her favorite channel or playing computer games, provided she doesn't have any other homework to be done :).


Neeza (the Ummi)

I've started my school vacation today! I'm gonna miss all the lovely teachers until 13th December 2008. Feels a bit weird actually since for the last whole month, I was not in the house during this time. Shahmey is sleeping at the moment and I'm in front of my laptop - checking and replying emails and also visiting blogger friends. Not to mention, updating my own blog :). Today's cooking? Well, I have some leftovers from yesterday night's kenduri doa selamat at Mr President's house. Reheating is the best thing to do. Perhaps, I'll add something to my own sambal ikan bilis leftover. Petai perhaps! yummy...


Abang (the Abah)

He's eagerly and busily preparing himself for the fifth pillar of Islam. He has finished the 5 day course (evening only) organized by the Da'wah Centre. I can't join him this time for a reason - I'm not fit for it yet!. He talks about it a lot and me, I just had to kinda ignore him since I'm actually sad. If I give comment or opinion about it further, I may end up crying since I know he'll be away for more than a day. After a year plus, this will be the first time we are gonna be temporarily separated. But, I have to accept the fact that he'll be away for a huge responsibility. I pray to Him for his safety and happiness. Also, I pray that he manage to complete his ibadah successfully. Ameen...


That's about it for today. By the way, this message is meant for you Abang. Thanks for the little something you bought me on the 27th Dec 2008. It'll surely save my eyes ;). I really appreciate it :).

Bila rindu...

Bila kita rindukan seseorang, kita selalu fikirkan tentang dia. Kalau kita tak rindu, sudah tentulah kita tak ingat pun. Bila rindu, segala-galanya akan mengingatkan kita pada seseorang tu.


Kenapa tiba-tiba cakap pasal rindu hari ni ya? Ada beberapa sebab sebenarnya. Pertamanya, tak lama lagi Neeza akan merindui seseorang yang akan berada jauh dari Neeza buat seketika. Biarlah ia menjadi tanda tanya bagi yang tak tahu. Bagi yang tahu, sudah tentu akan faham bagaimana perasaan rindu tu. Walau bagaimanapun, Neeza redha dengan perpisahan sementara itu...


Keduanya, semalam Neeza post gambar-gambar gathering kami disini. Ramai di antara che' abang didalam gambar-gambar tu sebenarnya baru tiba dari tanah air tercinta. Ini bermakna, mereka baru sahaja meninggalkan insan-insan tersayang iaitu isteri dan anak-anak. Sekurang-kurangnya perpisahan itu akan memakan masa 2-3 bulan. Ada di antara isteri-isteri mereka visit blog Neeza dan menatap wajah wajah kesayangan mereka. Hilang sikit rindu bila dapat lihat kegembiraan suami masing-masing. Sudah tentu juga air mata akan mengalir sayu.


Masih Neeza ingat lagi perasaan rindu itu semasa Neeza berada jauh dari suami lebih setahun yang lepas. Hampir tiap-tiap hari menangis sebab rindu especially bila dapat online. Mujurlah ada anak-anak untuk jadi pengubat rindu.


Walau bagaimanapun, kita perlu ingat (penting untuk Neeza sendiri) bahawa sejauh mana kita rindukan insan yang bernama manusia, rindu kepada Allah lebih utama dari segala-galanya. Ini kerana destinasi kita yang kekal abadi adalah disana...

Thanks dear :)

There's no other better word than thank you. Thank you for the dinner. Thank you for the gift.


Well, I'm not sure the purpose of you 'letting' the invoice of the gift in the box - whether to tell me the price of the thing so that I'll buy you the same or more SR ($$) next year or you actually forgot to take it out hehee.. I could see that you wrapped the box by yourself - which was quite impressive ;). So, I assumed that you forgot to take out the invoice ;).








The dinner was great though you claimed it as 'biasa biasa aje'. Unfortunately, the kids didn't eat much of what they have ordered. Luckily, we could bring back the leftovers. Otherwise, I would feel guilty as they costed quite SR! (Even the bibik didn't finish hers you know.. ;) )














Seriously, I didn't expect to receive that thing as a gift. I thought you gonna give me something that went missing during our trip to Malaysia recently (which of course may not cost as much as this one). I won't post the picture of the gift here (since I think you don't want me too) but for me to remember, I will capture all wonderful moments with the gift *wink* (a hint to myself).


Again, thanks for everything... May Allah bless you with a great health and happiness. Ameen...

Sayang anak Ma :)

Syukur Alhamdulillah.. Setelah lebih 2 hari 2 malam menanggung kesakitan, akhirnya pada tepat jam 12.55 tengahari, 19 November 1974 iaitu pada hari Selasa, lahir lah seorang baby girl yang comel (cait! perasan comel.. hahaha!!!!). Beratnya hanyalah 6 pound lebih (tak tahu lah dalam kg sebab takde tulis dalam surat beranak :P). Memang kecik.. patutlah dah besar pun dia kemetot aje.


Tamatlah penderitaan labor pain Ma di hospital itu.


Ma, terima kasih kerana melahirkan anakanda kedunia yang indah ini.
Segala penderitaan Ma tak mungkin dapat dibalas dengan apa jua sekalipun.
Hanya Allah yang bakal memberi ganjaran kepada Ma diakhirat nanti.
Semoga hidup Ma sentiasa didalam rahmat Allah.
Ameen....

Kakok, nok kek!

My eyes are watery as I wrote the title of this entry. I am even crying now. It's a plain sentence to many but not to me. That's exactly what my youngest brother used to request everytime I went back to Kemaman. He likes cakes a lot. We, the elder brothers and sisters always, as much as we could, try to fulfil his needs.


He loves cakes with full of chocolate rice coating. He would purposely ask for the part that have chocolate rice the most. That was why, when I ordered a cake for him, I always asked for extra chocolate rice. I could see his smiling face and he would say,

"Nok!!"




My brother, Afir or his full name, Mohd Firdaus is not like any ordinary people. He was born as a Down Syndrome Child. We didn't know about that until the doctor told my mom about it. Of course, nothing we can do about it. It is fated like that. He was like any other baby when he was small but as he grew up, we could see the delayed progress. We thank to Allah he could still eat, walk and run like other kids. He could manage himself well. It's just that, he can't cook since we never allowed him to. He is such a pamper son of Ayah and Ma.


Afir is a very lovely uncle to his nieces and nephews. When my kids were still babies, he took care of them by laying at their sides, hugging them and kissing them a lot. But, when the kids get older and started to mess up with Afir's belongings (which are cds and cards), he got mad. Once in a while, he scolded the kids but most of the time he would just grumble by himself. We, the brothers and sisters could detect the time that he was not in a good mood. We had to find the route of the cause and calm him down. He likes to be hugged and pampered.


Though he looks like a 9 year old boy (for his behavior), he is actually a teenanger. Today, he is 23 years old! If he is a normal male, he would have been away from Ayah and Ma. But, he is not and that's why he is still staying with them. He is the lovely gems of our family.


Happy Birthday Afir! Kakok will always love you no matter what..

The 'generous' Ummi

If it's not due to something special going on, Ummi is the stingiest person in the world especially when it comes to paying for dinner. Yesterday evening, Ummi was so generous. She treated the whole family including the helper at the Pataya Restaurant. Well, it's not the super duper exclusive but it is among those special restaurant for Malaysian in Jubail since it serves Asian food like Nasi Goreng, Tom Yam and bla bla..


Actually Ummi was lazy to cook and she has got 1 great excuse to eat out - Abah's birthday! After seeing the doctor but didn't complete the treatment yesterday night, they went to Pataya Restaurant. Luckily when they arrived, a group of men (about 20 of them) from don't know where had just came out from the restaurant. Otherwise, they may have to wait for quite some time outside. Though the restaurant has 2 sections - for males and families, the group of the males had occupied the family section. They were so many and the males section wasn't enough for them.







Abah didn't ask much. Perhaps he was more like 'kesiankan' Ummi who would have to pay for the dinner. Then, Ummi ordered the usual stuff. The meal was not that much but the family didn't finish everything. Guess who have to finish everything?? Hehehe.. the hint is, the person who's been completing all the most housechores at home, at the moment... Of course she could finish all. According to her, she never been to the restaurant before. Well, knowing the ar@bs, payah nak jumpa diorang bawak helper yang dia panggil slave tu makan di restaurant!






After the dinner, we went to purchase some groceries - instant food actually, since Abah will be away almost the whole day tomorrow (it's today). By having instant food, Ummi doesn't have to worry so much about what kids want to eat ;).


Thanks Ummi for the dinner. Hmmm.. who is UMMI by the way? hehee...


Enjoy the picture :)

It's your day dear :)

If life begins at 40, then you are not born yet. In a year from now, you'll be born. In your dream!!!


Well, you have to accept the fact that your life has begun since 39 years ago. That's a big number huh! Hehee.. They said a year older means a year wiser. I hope it'll be applicable to you. Or perhaps, another year closer to be there... That'll be more like it. But of course I always want both of us to be fully prepared to enjoy our time 'there'. Insyaallah...


My dear lovely Abang, 12th November has been your special day since 1969. Since I got to know you, it became more meaningful since my special day is happened to be exactly a week after that (why didn't it come a week before - so that if only I receive a good present from you, then I return the same hahahaha!!!)


For your 39th birthday, I have a few wishes for you...

I hope you'll continue to be my most caring and lovely husband
also, the most understanding Abah to our kids
not forgetting, the most generous banker to your lazy wife ;)

I love you just the way you are
though I hardly admit that
coz' without you being like that
and without me being like this
we would never appreciate our time together

I pray to Allah
to grant all your wishes (the good ones of course)

I also pray to Allah
that we will be living comfortably together
for the rest of our life
Insyaallah...

The life of me

I'll be breathless without them...

The picture was taken early of the year. Shahmey nampak muka baby sangat lagi

Sophea whom we called Kakak is 8 years old. Anak yang manja dan kadang-kadang senang leka. Kuat berangan especially bila dipanggil, lambat sikit nak menyahut. She doesn't like to be alone. She could cry endlessly and beg Coan to play with her. Bila tengok Ummi dia sedih, Kakak lah yang paling awal datang memberi simpati. Boleh nangis sama tu :). Juga, boleh diharap untuk buat kerja rumah - kemas bilik, vacuuming dan basuh pinggan. Cuma, tunggu je lah Kakak akan main air.. ;). Dia ni rajin membaca tapi tak boleh paksa. Dia akan buat bila dia suka.


Sobhan or Coan is 6 years old. Very cheeky at times. Coan lama sikit jadi bongsu dan memang sangat manja. Pantang kena marah, mesti buat muka sebek (kalau marah kat dia lah. Kalau marah in general, dia buat tak kisah je..). One thing about Coan, dia is a bit independent. Boleh main sorang-sorang. Jangan terkejut kalau dengar dia menangis, ketawa dan buat dialog tapi takde orang lain dekat dia hehee.. Pandai berlakon. Tapi, agak keras kepala sikit. Kalau dia kata nak, dia nak jugak. Kalau dia kata tak nak, memang dia tak buat unless Abah dia suruh (perangai ni ada sikit2 ikut Ummi hehee..).


Shahmey baru aje 1 tahun 3 bulan. Susah lagi nak tengok perangai dia. Tapi, masa kecil dulu, dia baik sangat. Tak banyak susah kan Ummi dan Abah masa dalam pantang. Susah nak menangis melainkan waktu dia lapar. Kakak-kakaknya gomol macam mana pun dia okay aje. Pasrah saje.. Ummi yang risau pulak. Shahmey tak kisah dengan sesapa saja. Memang dia suka bila orang ambik dan pegang dia. Kalau dia lapar, tak lah pulak. Mesti nak Ummi lah.. :)


Cukuplah cerita character mereka. Nanti marah pulak sebab tak letak dalam blog diorang ni. Kakak dan Coan, kalau tengok ada gambar mereka di blog Umminya, mesti tanya,

"kenapa Ummi tak letak kat blog kakak/Coan?"

I created their blogs to update on important occurence in their life. Being a mother, many things nak kena ingat. Kalau tak segera update, lupa nanti. At least bila mereka dah besar, mesti akan ketawa bila tengok muka masing-masing yang toye masa kecik. Sayangnya time Ummi dulu takde blog. Jadi, tengok gambar hardcopy je laaaa... Bila tanya parents, diorang pun dah lupa banyak benda.. tak best...


Ni kisah Coan semalam.

Coan nampak air teh O dalam gelas. It was mine actually. She requested one too and mintak letak dalam botol. Yes, dia still minum dalam botol kalau ada di rumah sendiri. Ikut mood jugak lah sebenarnya. Since teh O tu panas lagi, Abang told Coan,

"air tu panas lagi Coan..."

"biar je lah!"

"Tak boleh letak dalam botol. Tak elok untuk kesihatan.."

"tapi kenapa?"

"Sebab botol tu dibuat dari errr.. tak lah semuanya tapi ada poly ethylene. Sebahagian aje. Bila air panas kena botol terjadi chemical reaction between air panas dengan substance botol tu. Nanti boleh sebab kan cancer. Tak elok.."


I looked at Coan while Abang gave that explanation to her. I was already smiling since I knew Coan wouldn't understand that. She's just 6. Kalau cakap kat Sophea yang dah 8 tahun mungkin faham sikit kot. Coan was just looking at her Abah while listening to the explanation. Then,

"Tapi, apa maksudnya?"

Hahahaa!!! kan dah kata. Later in the room, Coan mintak lagi teh O. Then, I explained to her with a laymen term,

"Air tu panas. Tak elok bila letak dalam botol. Boleh sebabkan sakit. Kalau sakit, Coan masuk hospital. Kena inject. Coan nak ke?"

"Tak nak!"

Then Abang pun menambah-nambah..

"Nanti doctor pegang kaki Coan macam ni, inject sini, inject situ..."

heheee.. menambah je lah bang...


Anyway, its always fun when we have conversation with our kids, provided we are in a good mood. Kalau masa tu tengah sibuk dengan kerja rumah, tak pasal-pasal aje anak-anak kena marah. Memang kesian kalau difikirkan. Kenalah make it up kemudian. Anak-anak memang perlukan perhatian. Semoga kami dapat mendidik anak-anak dengan baik. Insyaallah...

I want my Mommy!! - TQ Kak Jie :)

How many times our kids shouted this - I want my Mommy!! instead of I want my Daddy!!. You may replace mommy with Ummi (my kids call me that!), Mama, Mak, Ibu, Ma, Mok (this for kelatae people la deh) or even Omak (for Nogoghi pulak laaa :) ).


In a family, mommy is everything. Mommy is the one who get pregnant. Mommy also delivers baby. Mommy nurses and breastfeed baby and mommy also wakes up at night and make sure baby will stop crying. How wonderful mommy is...


I met (in cyber) this special mommy and her name is Kak Jie. She received an award and shared the award with all ibu-ibu hebat (great mommies) including myself! Thank you Kak Jie for the award. I'm so honored...


How I become a mommy?? They make me a mommy - the love of my life. I've created a blog for Sophea, Sobhan and Shahmey to log any important event in their process of growing up.

The love of my life

from left - Sobhan (6 yrs), Shahmey (9 months) and Sophea (8 years)

Note to the love of my life:

My dear, though Ummi always scolded you sometimes, Ummi love you very much. You mean everything to Ummi my love...

Edited to post:

I just realized (what a forgetful mother - too much too think heheee..), I didn't mention the successors of the award.

Here, I present the award to another great mother, DrNO and she is now expecting a new member in the family. I'm sure she will be as splendid as ever...

Caring means loving - Thank you Manje :)

I do admit, sometimes (or many times indeed) I jumped into conclusion too soon. Like yesterday (referring to my previous entry), after reading a few comments in someone else's blog, I heated up. I was furious. I know, I shouldn't behave that way but many times, I did. I quickly expressed my frustration in the blog (I wish I would have not done it!).


I should be patient a bit, took a deep breath and analyzed things positively. True enough, whatever that I was infuriated about yesterday turned out to be something that I should not worry about at all. It was merely an attention seeker, I shall say.


Today, someone who cares for me (otherwise she wouldn't do this, I guess), gave me 2 award. Wow!! To receive 2 award from the same person is surely a thrill to me. It shows the concern and care the other party had for the award recipient. Manje is a new cyber friend to me. I never met this wonderful girl but I have this presumption that she is nice, caring, loving and sensitive. I am sensitive too, Manje - in some cases heheeee...


These are 2 awards that Manje gave me. Thank you Manje! I'm claiming these awards with honor and with a thought in mind that you care for me which indirectly means you love me (as a sister la kan heheee..).

Since its good to give people what you've get, I present both award to my new friend, Fadzila. Hope you like them dear :)

Thank you DrNO...

I have received a Friendly Site Award from what shall I describe her... errr... aha!! a very cheery, likable and lovely DrNO. Thank you DrNo.. though I've not met you personally yet, I could tell and sense that you're a nice person to be with.


Receiving this award only after about 2 months of blogging is such an honor to me. She has made my day. After 4 days being in the hospital (I'm not warded though. My daughter was), she really create a big smile on my face. A bigggggg one!


Since its always good to give others what you've got, I'm now passing this award, first, to the person who award me this, DrNo, of course.


Secondly, I also present the award to a little sister who is in her journey to be a doctor - Aliya.

L O V E

*smile*

do you ever wonder?

it could be...

the definition...

when a stranger tells you...

and it only appears on the lips...

but you feel like your life is filled with rainbows...

beware!!

because...

also...

unless you are willing to sacrifice,

it would be okay for you to fall in love


but if you are afraid...

never take the risk!

so...

just tell the person

good day :)

A new day, a new LOVE...

When you are unhappy, depressed, and gloomy, there's nothing you need but a shoulder to cry on. I was really down yesterday. After about 4 months staying home as a fulltime housewife, yesterday was the ultimatum (hopefully no more after this). My 2 girls had (boys are naughtier than girls is not relevant nowadays. They are all the same) urged my patient. They kept making me annoyed with series of undesirable behavior.

They were good at times. They helped me taking care of little Shahmey, tidying up the room and even washing the dishes. But, when their sugar level is high (told you... chocolate and sweets are not good for kids!!), they don't listen to me. Their concentration span is very minimum. When I asked them to finish their homework, they would sit for 5 minutes and,

"Ummi, nak berehat kejap boleh?" that's usually Coan.

"Ummi, nak tengok tv kejap ye. Kakak jaga Shahmey" that's kakak - Shahmey is an escapism

The 5 minutes would always become 50 minutes even I had already shouted at called them up to study or do their homework. The came back for a while and then,


"Ummi, lapar laaa.. nak makan cereal kejap boleh?"

This always be a very good escapism. Though they've had their lunch, they would say, "lapar lagi laaaa" because they know, I would allow them to eat. No mummy would let their kids go hungry right... because I can't see their tummy whether its really full. The food could already changed to energy. So, if they want to eat, I let them.

The homework, wasn't done. They played in the room, in the kitchen and even in the living hall. They did many things but the homework. They played water tap and soaked the kitchen. When abang came back, all I could hear was shouting and scolding. The kids were quiet. They went to the room and finished their homework. They listened to abah but not ummi. Why and why?? Perhaps ummi's blabs is like a song to them. The more blabs, the more they play around.


But I can't help it. I need someone to comfort me, at least at that moment. Abang, unfortunately, his is not that kind. When I scolded the kids in front of him, he would add to 'it' with a few more 'spices' besides scolding and the kids would go "uuuwwwaaaa!!!". That was why sometimes and only somtimes I had to keep quiet when I saw him coming. Though he naturally is a loving and caring father, he felt threaten listening to my high volume (why I can't control my volume pun tak tahu laaa... I wish I could be more patient. Though I learned Psychology, the theory doesn't work sometimes :))


To solve (or may be alleviate) the matter, I've received a gift from the God, through this super generous and thoughtful Mr Idham. He's spreading love to all the blog readers. Though he's not physically a shoulder to cry on, its okay. At least he made me smile and forgot about the stress.

This morning, I woke up quite early. I made nasi goreng (fried rice) for my kids. When I told Coan whether she wanted to bring the nasi goreng to school, she asked "ada nasi goreng?? waaaa.... nak laaa..." another happy face created.

I hope today, will be a new start for more smiles in all faces thus more love in me and all of you towards everyone especially our own family. Also, I pray to Him that I will be more tolerance towards my kids. Insyaallah...