When you are unhappy, depressed, and gloomy, there's nothing you need but a shoulder to cry on. I was really down yesterday. After about 4 months staying home as a fulltime housewife, yesterday was the ultimatum (hopefully no more after this). My 2 girls had (boys are naughtier than girls is not relevant nowadays. They are all the same) urged my patient. They kept making me annoyed with series of undesirable behavior.
They were good at times. They helped me taking care of little Shahmey, tidying up the room and even washing the dishes. But, when their sugar level is high (told you... chocolate and sweets are not good for kids!!), they don't listen to me. Their concentration span is very minimum. When I asked them to finish their homework, they would sit for 5 minutes and,
"Ummi, nak berehat kejap boleh?" that's usually Coan.
"Ummi, nak tengok tv kejap ye. Kakak jaga Shahmey" that's kakak - Shahmey is an escapism
The 5 minutes would always become 50 minutes even I had already
"Ummi, lapar laaa.. nak makan cereal kejap boleh?"
This always be a very good escapism. Though they've had their lunch, they would say, "lapar lagi laaaa" because they know, I would allow them to eat. No mummy would let their kids go hungry right... because I can't see their tummy whether its really full. The food could already changed to energy. So, if they want to eat, I let them.
The homework, wasn't done. They played in the room, in the kitchen and even in the living hall. They did many things but the homework. They played water tap and soaked the kitchen. When abang came back, all I could hear was shouting and scolding. The kids were quiet. They went to the room and finished their homework. They listened to abah but not ummi. Why and why?? Perhaps ummi's blabs is like a song to them. The more blabs, the more they play around.
But I can't help it. I need someone to comfort me, at least at that moment. Abang, unfortunately, his is not that kind. When I scolded the kids in front of him, he would add to 'it' with a few more 'spices' besides scolding and the kids would go "uuuwwwaaaa!!!". That was why sometimes and only somtimes I had to keep quiet when I saw him coming. Though he naturally is a loving and caring father, he felt threaten listening to my high volume (why I can't control my volume pun tak tahu laaa... I wish I could be more patient. Though I learned Psychology, the theory doesn't work sometimes :))
To solve (or may be alleviate) the matter, I've received a gift from the God, through this super generous and thoughtful Mr Idham. He's spreading love to all the blog readers. Though he's not physically a shoulder to cry on, its okay. At least he made me smile and forgot about the stress.
This morning, I woke up quite early. I made nasi goreng (fried rice) for my kids. When I told Coan whether she wanted to bring the nasi goreng to school, she asked "ada nasi goreng?? waaaa.... nak laaa..." another happy face created.
I hope today, will be a new start for more smiles in all faces thus more love in me and all of you towards everyone especially our own family. Also, I pray to Him that I will be more tolerance towards my kids. Insyaallah...