Thursday, March 13, 2008

why today?



I purposely write this entry before the next entry, hoping that nobody will notice this. Thus, nobody would read this. Hopefully... unless I have a very detail and obedient reader which I don't think so hehehee...


This entry is really meant for me, for my own eyes. I'm a bit upset now. Okay... not upset actually. I'm miserable because someone whom I saw tonight really reminded me of someone who used to made me sad, angry and jealous, long time ago.


When I saw the face, I knew I saw it somewhere... 1 of the pictures that I've ever saw. Why the face had to come today? After I had a very enjoyable moment one whole day until tonight... Help me Ya Allah.. help me to erase the memory from my mind. How could I? I know that I'll be seeing the face again.


Perhaps, I should try to forgive and forget. The person who has the face is innocent. Totally harmless. It's not the person's fault for having that face. It is given by Him. Also, it's not the other person who originally own the face's fault for making me had to think of the face.


Whomever besides me, who tried to understand the above statement, better don't because it's only me who would understand this.


The previous person who used to own the face is not guilty too. It was only my mind, my conscious mind... Why should I get angry? Why should I be jealous. The person didn't even know me. I never met the person either.


Help me Ya Allah... Help me... please......


11 sugar & spice:

Ummi said...

Neeza,
caught you..i am one of your obedient reader he he he..

I may not understand as you said, apa2 pun I hope you can manage it and I want to see you happy. Ok sayang?

Neeza Shahril said...

alamak!!! kak Ummi baca ye.. hehehe.. memang neeza tak sangka ada orang akan baca pun. Tapi memang haru biru la semalam hati neeza. Tapi, buat dek aje.. tak tahu la macam mana lepas ni.. hopefully neeza okay... thanks ye kak Ummi..

Jie said...

Anywat Neeza, you cant change the past- wht you can do is walk away and not allow negative thoughts into ur head.

itu salah satu pengalaman dlm hidup..pahit manis.

silversarina said...

neeza,

akak pun pernah melaluinya, memang sukar nak lupakan ....rasanya akak faham entry ni.

Neeza Shahril said...

Kak Jie,

sorang lagi 'terbaca' entry sedih neeza.. takpe la.. at least neeza dapat advice kan..

tapi the past tu sungguh perit Kak Jie... mungkin neeza kena selalu istighfar kot..

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Kak Rina,

dalam pada neeza tak nak bagi orang baca, dah 3 orang.. hehee.. neeza anggap semua yang 'terbaca' ni, sahabat neeza di kala suka dan duka...

syukurlah kalau Kak Rina faham... bila neeza fikirkan balik.. macam2 perasaan datang balik. entahlah Kak Rina.. semoga neeza tak cepat melatah nanti..

Mak Teh said...

Neeza, mak teh baca sekali lalu je, jadi tak faham sangat. Anyway lupakan perkara-perkara yang lalu (nasihat memanglah senang ). Banyak bersyukur dan fikirkan kebaikan yang Allah kurniakan kepada kita. Tambahan pula kalau orang tu tak bersalah apa pula halnya dia yang mendapat padah. Allah temukan wajah itu adalah dugaan untuk neeza supaya fikir dan bertindak cara betul dan memang beristghfar akan menolong kita dalam banyak perkara. Hehehe syarahan or tazkirah mak teh di pagi hujung minggu.

Fadzila said...

take sis...i know u are strong....aja-aja fighting!!!

Zabs said...

Salam Neeza,
Allah dah atur semua ni. Dan abang di sebelah tu yang terbaik untuk Neeza. Bayangkan wajah kesayangan anda tu selalu, wajah yang lama tu takkan bawa makna lagi. InsyaAllah.

Neeza Shahril said...

Hmmm.... ingatkan takde orang baca.. rupanya ada jugak.. terima kasih semua.. memang susah nak faham sebab suara hati yang susah nak dikeluarkan... :(

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Mak Teh,

hehehe... kena leter sekali sekala bagus gak Mak Teh supaya neeza ni tak terikut ikut kan perasaan sangat. Dia tak bersalah. Mungkin Allah nak duga neeza dan nak tengok sama ada neeza boleh bertahan ke tak dengan dugaan kecil tu kan.. terima kasih ye Mak Teh :)

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Sis fadzila,

Insyaallah dik.. hopefully I could manage it..

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Pak Zabs,

pemilik wajah lama tu bukan sejenis dgn abang disebelah neeza ni. Pening ya. takpe lah.. complicated kot.. anyway, terima kasih atas sokongan Pak Zabs tu... :)

noniey alias said...

hai kak neeza..

jangan sedih2 ye...jangan marah2...jangan serabut2...nanti muka kak neeza habis merah2... nanti tak comel dah...

Neeza Shahril said...

Noniey,

okay..okay.. kak neeza cuba ye noniey.. nak bagi muka comel ni... heheheeee....