Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Never pamper a husband ;)



About 17 years ago, 1 of my favorite lecturers told me (including my classmates),

"Never pamper your husbands. Don't make a habit to cook for them everyday.."

Sounds weird huh! It was an advice from a female lecturer and the advice was originally from her father! I know I'm cracking your head. Some of you could have said,

"it's is a detrimental advice indeed"


Of course, she elaborated long enough to us. According to her, if a wife always cook for her husband (4 course in a day - breakfast, lunch, tea and supper), the husband would expect to eat a homecook meal everyday!


It will be okay perhaps for the first few months of marriage (everything is green - love is all around). The wife is eager to try all new recipes to feed her hungry husband (literally and physically hahahah!!!).


What will happen after that? Everyone will get tired doing the same thing everyday. The wife is getting tired of cooking (plus she may be pregnant and having those morning sickness syndrome). The recipe may be repeated. Husband may get bored eating the same thing since he may be expecting for a new recipe everyday. Can a woman do that? Do wonders I mean? I don't know, you have the answer :)


How to avoid the problem to even exist? Never cook? No!! Don't ever do that.. air tangan isteri is always the best. Instead, cook for him only once in a while - whenever you like. The most important thing is, give a message to your (my) husband that you (I) are not gonna cook for him 4 times a day and 7 days a week.


Make him feel special when eating your homecook. Also, indirectly tell him that you're not a robot hotel chef. So, he needs to expect the worse. The meal may be salty or tasteless sometimes. If the meal turns out to be good, a compliment is appreciated (this particular line should go to the men!)


Anyway, it will be different if the wife is not working and ever willing to cook. Again, it's still up to the wife. Like myself, I have a few days in a week that I didn't feel like cooking. Hey! I'm tired too... hehehe...


After finish writing about this, I'm not sure if this actually seems to be a good advice ;)

27 sugar & spice:

ummu al hanafi said...

hi neeza... lama tak nampak? still in Malaysia? ke balik dah?
hmmmm..... cerita bab cooking.. sometime penat pikir sometime malas sometime xcited! keh keh keh
apapun... isteri adalah penjaga kesihatan suami... anak-anakpun..
apa-apapun kita jugak yg nak kena masak kalau suami tak kisah anak-anak pulakk mengadu kelaparannn
:) :)

elisataufik said...

tapi duduk sini, i rasa no choice lah, kena jugak masak almost hari-hari, sebab tak lalu lah nak makan luar kerap sangat.

Ummu Layth said...

hahaha lawak2. i think it can good advice. maknanya janganlah set high expectations sangat for oneself. kalau dari awal lagi suami ingat kita boleh handle semuanya..mana dia nak offer tolong or bawa makan kat luar. balik2 tanya 'apesal tak bende nak makan?' instead of 'turn abang eh masak hari ni'. hahha.

lesson is start low go slow? masa bercinta tu ckplah tak reti masak sgt =p pas tu dah kawin ewah sedap rupanya bini dia masak. it's all about expectation and perception. i think that's what your lecturer meant kot.

tulipurple said...

kui kui..ape2 pun understanding yg pentingkan.sy yg surirumahbwhtangga ni pun kdg2 dtg vitamin M nak masak.it's all abt expectatn & perceptn mcm ummu layth kata.

OndeOnde said...

kalau dok rumah hari-hari memang fening sikit nok pikir menu apa nak masak..

tapi elok lah masak pun, sambil2 masak tu macam2 do'a buleh di baca.

kalau husband yang understanding tak kiralah kita terror masak ke, kita malas masak ke hari tu, kita tak pandai sangat ker - okay jer dia.

to me, kalau sempat masak, tak sempat nak buat macam mana? sebab kerja kan? kalau time cuti rasa malas nak prepare yang tedious, masak jer lah yang simple sometimes, ikan goreng, sup sayur dan telor dadar pun habis nasi satu periuk :)

Cat Cat said...

Alamak Neeza, Cath tak masak nanti, tak makan lah anak-anak Cath ooooiiiii. Bagi Cath, hubby and I bergilir-gilir masak.. Hari ini Cath masak, esok hubby punya turn... Baru adil, kan...???

Kak Lady said...

Neeza...memang kita selalu dengar...orang sekarang jarang memasak sebab diorang kata memasak tu bukan wajib buat isteri...

Tapi sebagai isteri...bila ada anak2...kita lebih suka memasak kan? Sebab suka tengok anak2 & suami makan dgn berselera masakan kita...

Macam kata Neeza...ada masa kita malas jugak nak masak kan? Takde mood...

abanglong said...

haaa ni komen pak suami plak neh... miahahahaha

as for me, the wife kira 70-30 lah. 30% we all makan luar. sesekali tukar angin la kan.

most of suami mmg impikan sorang wife yg super perfect. nak pegi keja ada kopi, balik petang dah ada teh and kuih, lepak baca paper and lepas maghrib ada dinner with a few lauks.

tapi; nak cari satu rumah yg single income la ni mmg ler susah. ekonomoney la kan. so, wife terpaksa kerja and bila dah keja tu, penat dia sama laa ngan cik abang abang yer tak.

due to nature of my work, abglong boleh spend the whole day kat umah.. weehh lotih laa nak layan. tu baru ela pajila n adik. tu lom masuk cuci2 and kemas kemas agi tu!! hehehe.

moral of story; berpada pada lah. klu asyik makan luar jer, kang cik abang cakap, yang.. lawa laaa anak makcik kedai tu, sedap lak dia masak! hehe sakit jantung nanti.

-abanglong-
yg antara hobi dia memasak

noniey alias said...

sokong cakap abanglong..

30% luar..70% masak..

tapi masalahnya husband saya tak suka langsung makan kat luar. tak sedap lah, rimas lah, ramai orang lah, aqil syahmi susah nak pegang lah .. kalau nak makan kat luar pun, beli je, balik makan kat rumah..

so, saya punye - maybe 20% makan kat luar, 80% masak.

Jie said...

mmg boring kadang2 nk buat keje yg sama je..hiks!

tapi bila dah ada anak, memasak tu lebih utk dia org...

kita org melayu, kan..masih tebal dgn adat...ikut je lah..dpt pula pahala..tp kakjie kalau mmg tak mau masak cakap awai2....tak nak masak!

neomesuff said...

heeeheee..a very good advice for a person like me who is very lazy to cook..;-) but somehow once in a while it is a very nice feeling to cook for my better half...

MULAN said...

10 years in vietnam, rasa memberontak malas nak masak bila balik msia. hubby ok je but pesan org2 tua, kena masak jugak utk suami. but after 3 weeks, nak muntah dah makan kat luar.. i ni masak 50-50, makan kat rumah & kat luar.. he he hubby ok je.. sebab kalu tak habis makan kat rumah, lagi membazir..

Fadzila said...

sis...me pun if nak masak..baru masak..if tak..tapau ajerla..selalunya weekends baru fadzila masak....ari biasa kami diet..tak makan malam..ehehehe

ADIEJIN said...

no issue for me, i cook for my wife almost everyday.

zino said...

tak nak masak beli je kat luar.. hehe

Mak Teh said...

Salam neeza, mak teh masa baru kawin cubalah nak please husband. Lepas tu, mak teh terus moring sickness lah, Pak haji manjakan mak teh hingga tak dibenarkan buat kerja rumah. Agaknya mak teh dah tahu rahsia nak dimanjakan suami, maka hobby mak teh pun suka pregnant and dapat anak Hehe sebenarnya mak tehpun kerja kuat sama sebuk macam dia. Jadi mau tak maupun orang gajilah masak. Masa tu semua orang tahu mak teh tak pandai masak.

Lepas mak teh dah bersara pandai pulak mak teh masak. Sekarang kalau nak makan sedap sikit Pak haji dan anak-anak minta mak teh punya masakan speciallah. Hehehe!

Neeza kata nak datang jumpa mak teh. Pl contact OO.

silversarina said...

salam,

akak pun sejak abe balik ni, rajin pulak masak, roti canai pun akak buat..hoorey !!!

tapi JJCM tetap berjalan beb :P

MAMAMIA said...

Akak tak kisah masak. Tapi geram bila kita dah penat2 masak dia balik kata dah makan kat luar.

My hubby is one pampered husband. Dia nak pasang api dapur pun tak tahu!!! He doesn't do dishes either. But he works hard for the Money. & Alhamdulillah, we r having comfortable life. So, rasanya adillah, I do my part at home.

Ajzie said...

salam perkenalan.. saya dtg dari blog kak rina...

Umi Kalthum Ngah said...

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah,

Hendak tahu salah satu rahsia mengeratkan perhubungan intim dan kemesraan?

Selalu-selalulah masak bersama...seperti Tok Wan dan Neena (Opah) ini...(macam main masak-masak masa kecil-kecil dahulu dengan kawan-kawan...macam itulah..)

Heh! Heh!

Wasalam...

Helena said...

hehe... one of the things yang helena menyesal pamperkan hubby is bila dapat anak sulung, i said, no need to help out. I will do everything. BIla anak no2, okay lagi..... bila dapat no3 and no4, esp jarak mereka setahun.... so helena tak cukup tangan... and bila mintak tolong.... dah susah satu hal.... tak reti satu hal.... hehe...

when cooking is concerned... me and hubby cook sama2 60%.... 40 beli luar.... hehe (nowla... semenjak takde maid nih)(eh sampai bila2 la kut....) hehe

Zabs said...

Salam Neeza,
Are you still in Kelantan or back in Saudi already? Yes, I suppose it is a good advice, but it depends on how you put it to your husband. I like to eat out sometimes also. Hari2 makan di rumah, tak seronok juga. Sesekali bertukar selera ada kebaikan kepada kerukunan rumah tangga.Wallahua'lam.

13may said...

hmmmm...nak komen apa yea...hehhe

maklang said...

pahala besar tu masakkan suami...he..he..

IBUlieza said...

amboi2.....smpt lg dok update blog cuti2 ni...wateve sy mmg spesis suke msk...ape saje la...asl blh di"ngap"..hihihi
tp bile smpai time maleh...x hrp suruh sy pegang periuk belanga....kem slm..........hihiihh
ok tu saje...1 more thing...dont 4get to come back 2 saudi ok...dapur dah panggil...hihihih

Neeza Shahril said...

Nana,

kalau suami cerewet yang tensen kan..
kalau suami tak kisah sangat apa kita masak, lain sikit..

===================================

Elisa,

betul tu Lisa.. macam neeza juga lah..
kat sini lebih kerap masak compared to kat malaysia..

===================================

Aliya,

betul tu.. jangan kita bagi perception yang kita ni soooooo perfect. nanti diri sendiri yang merana..

===================================

Tulip,

yupp.. its about expectation.. akak memang dari awal tak reti masak sangat.. nak buat2 pandai pun tak reti.. hehee

===================================

Kak Wani,

betul tu kak Wani.. doa2 sangat baik untuk keluarga masa kita masak...
cuma, kalau hubby expect kita masak resepi terkini everyday, pengsan laa.. hehee..

===================================

Cath,

kalau macam tu memang bagus.. takdelah dia expect kita ni superwoman kan...

===================================

Kak Lady,

suka sangat bila anak2 or hubby suka dengan apa yang kita masak..

...and akan rasa sedih kalau selalu kutuk apa yang kita masak kan... ;)

===================================

Abanglong,

makan luar pun tak elok gak sebenarnya.. bukan setakat anak makcik kedai... perasa2 yang memeningkan kepala (MSG) yang diletak pun bahaya gak..

kalau dapat husband understanding yang rajin masak cam abanglong, memang la best...

tapi, kalau tak dapat pun, dia tak complain apa kita masak pun, dah cukup baik... hehehhh..

===================================

Noniey,

kalau rela takpe noniey... ni takut buat sebab terpaksa... takde kualiti nanti.. kalau hubby faham takpe... kalau tak faham, kita yang makan hati berulam jantung.. hehehe..

===================================

Kak Jie,

neeza pun sama.. alhamdulillah, husband tak bising... kalau dia rasa nak makan food masak sendiri, dia masak.. kalau tidak, tapau aje McD ke.. pizza ke.. ;)

===================================

Neome,

memang pun... the satisfaction is hard to describe..
tapi kalau kena paksa, tak best jugak kot kan... :)

===================================

Mulan,

kalau cam tu kira okay la... yang tak best bila hubby kata 'I nak everytime I rasa nak makan, makanan dah sedia aje'... sedih kan..

===================================

Fadzila,

wah wah... terer nya adik akak ni..
akak kalau tak dinner, melepek la jawabnya...

Neeza Shahril said...

Adiejin,

wah, bagus tu... kenyang dah sihat la kak farah kan...

===================================

Zino,

kalau yang tak kisah okay la.. yang kisah ni problem sikit hehee..

===================================

Mak Teh,

neeza ni tak tahu la bila nak pandai masak....

terkilan sangat tak dapat pergi jumpa Mak Teh... neeza cuba bulan 10 ni pulak ye.. Insyaallah...

===================================

Kak Rina,

wah... terer nya boleh buat roti canai.. sure sedap ni...

===================================

Mamamia,

kesian akak.. tapi takpe, macam kata akak, masing2 ada tugas tersendiri kan..

kalau dua2 kerja, letih jugak nak masak everyday kan..

===================================

Ajzie,

salam kenal juga... thanks ya sudi singgah sini...

===================================

Kak NeenaUmi,

memang best kan cam tu.. takdelah kita rasa, kita sorang aje yang terbeban..

===================================

Helena,

since hubby faham, senang sikit kan..
kalau semua kita nak buat, pengsan la jawabnya... hehee.

===================================

Pak Zabs,

kami pun cam tu.. kadang2 bosan makan kat rumah..
makan kat luar sebab suasana berbeza... boleh hirup angin luar pulak.. hehehe..

===================================

13may,

layan je.... hehehe...

===================================

Mak Lang,

setuju tu... kalau jadi mak lang kan best, rajin dan pandai masak pulak tu..

===================================

Lieza,

entry tuh dah diap sebelum bercuti lagi.. hehehe... tunggu masa nak keluar aje...