Saturday, August 30, 2008

Put your foot in my shoe



I am really sorry for those who think I'm gonna write a psychology article. I'm not! But, I have to explain this using a bit of psychological term. I wanna introduce a word 'empathy'. Empathy is not sympathy. The 2 words are totally different.


According to WIKIPEDIA - the free encyclopedia,

EMPATHY - is the capacity to recognize or understand another's state of mind or emotion. It is often characterized as the ability to "put oneself into another's shoes", or to in some way experience the outlook or emotions of another being within oneself.

In a layman terms, A has to think like how B thinks, considering all emelements that being experienced by B. By being empathy, A has to forget that A is A. A has to be B (almost 100%). That's empathy!


Why am I writing about empathy today? Who asked that? Ohh.. you!! Good question! Of course, 'kalau takde angin, pokok takkan bergoyang kan'. Someone, please give me an English idiom for this one :).


The story...

I've been receiving many (or rather a lots) feedback since I started blogging in December 2007. Some of which were encouraging but some weren't. I didn't really mind since that's the package that I have to take by being a blogger. But, this particular feedback that I recently received hurt me so much.


Somebody has CYNICALLY / SARCASTICALLY informed someone (after reading my blog) that..

"the whole world will know everything that happen in my family - including the negative or the bad things that were done by my family members"

In other words, that SOMEBODY didn't really like the idea of writing a blog. Perhaps the person thinks that I'm trying to inform the world about the weaknesses of my family members.


First of all, I have to stress here that I'm writing about my family. As human, everyone in my family, including MYSELF, are HUMAN and we're not perfect. We have our mishaps / weaknesses and I am being honest. I am not a hypocrites - portraying only all the good things. I don't consider that as something sinful (aib) at all. I'm keeping my bedroom story to myself so far. Most importantly, I am writing about those who are related to me. My life revolves around my family. When I'm writing about my family, I am actually writing about my life. The most precious things that occured which could be forgotten one day. I am glad to share the story with those whom I considered as friends. I am pretty sure my friends are glad to read about my life.


If you or anybody out there wants to use my writing against me (untuk mengutuk, mengumpat dan menghina), then you're NOT welcome to read my blog. I would consider you as UNWELCOME READERS. You can read any other blogs that satisfy your conscious mind. You are not in my shoes. You don't know me. It's inappropriate for you to judge me or my family.


One day, you may experience the things that I have experienced. Only that day, you would realize why I am how the way I am. I would pray to God that you'll be more understanding instead of being judgmental.


I am writing a blog to jot my life experiences. This is also one of the ways to kill my boredom. I used to work before and I used to have friends. By being unemployed, I lost people to communicate daily. I can't simply step in my neighbors house and chit chatting. That's not my kind of attitude some more. I don't like to stay in people's house for hours to chat or mengumpat about others. I prefer to stay home but at the same time I like to make friends. So, this is my way of making friends. The blog is just a means of communication. I believe, my friends (the honest readers) are not judging me since they know all of us are human. We do mistakes in life and we admit our mistakes. We learned through mistakes anyway. I don't bluff in my writing. I only wrote about the truth. If anybody doesn't like reading the truthfulness of my writing, move on. Get your own life then! Thank you :).


By the way, siapa yang makan gula, akan terasa manisnya. Hanya orang-orang yang makan cili lah yang pasti akan terasa pedas.



'Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan Al Mubarak'

22 sugar & spice:

as said...

akak,orang yang mengata,mengutuk,menghina,dengki tu depa tak der kerja sebenarnya...hanya orang yang ada blog faham apa isi kandungan blog..hehe

tak semestinya kita tulis tu 100% kejadian seharian hidup kita..biasa dalam 30-40% jer atau kurang..lain-lain semuanya kita simpan utk diri sendiri..

betul macam kata akak,kalau tak suka baca blog,sila kan,silakan blahhhh...hahhaa....

Neeza Shahril said...

As,

memang kan As.. hanya blogger yang fajam perasaan blogger..

diorang ingat kita tulis 100% apa yang jadi agaknya dalam hidup kita seharian.. kalau macam tu lah agaknya, akak rasa tak cukup 5 jam nak type..

tu la kan.. silakan blahhh.. geram nih hehee...

ummu asiah said...

neeza..

jgn risau atau sedih..continue writing..akak tak rasa ada apa2 yg negatif pun..

Selamat beramalibadat sempena Ramadhan yang mulia dan diberkati.boleh kongsi cerita puasa di sana

Raihah Rosli said...

K neeza,

Jgn dilayan org cam tu.Sbb die pndg blogging ni dr sudut negatif je.

Blogging ni byk kesan positif ...
Kite boleh share cerita, org lain boleh ambil sbg info, pgjrn atau pglmn yg bukn semua org dpt alami. Lg satu kite dpt tulis ape yg kite fikirkan. Semua tu sebenrnya ilmu pgthuan :)

Kite punya blog, suka hatilah kite nak tulis ape pun! Die tak suke jgn bace.

Yg penting : SY SUKA BACA BLOG KAK NEEZA :)

Jie said...

mboi..awat manis sgt kek cokelat neeza hari ni....heheheh


To whom it may concern

If you see something you don't like over here, Just shut up ...
Keep it all to yourself and stop visiting. It goes as simple as that.



Friendship is not a state of mind, it’s an act. It’s something you do, it’s not about whether you’re good or not, it’s not a reflection of you, it’s a balanced relationship between people. That doesn’t mean it’s always balanced at every moment. Sometimes you “need a friend” and other times it’s the other way. It’s a trust that’s returned.

Mak Teh said...

Neeza, kali ni Neeza pula yang terkena ya? Haritu mak teh terkena Nezza ketawa. Hehehe, ni Neeza kena mak teh tak sampai hati nak ketawa.

Bukan ramai orang macam Neeza cakap tu, mungkin seorang tu sahaja. Jadi lupakan dia dan teruslah berblogging.

Selamat menyambut Ramadhan al-Mubarak.

nurie said...

Assalamualaikum...

Sabarlah kak...hanya kita dan Allah saya yang tahu niat kita yg sebenarnya.
Bak kat mak mertua saya....orang tak tempuh, orang tak tau....

Selamat Hari Merdeka & Salam Ramadhan...Selamat menjalani ibadah puasa!

zany said...

Niat kita kena betul neeza,nak berblogging, isi masa terluang,bukan busukkan nama family pun. Go to hell lah orang macam tu, buat apa masuk blog orang lain kalau tak sukakan. For me, saya enjoy, saya baca, kalau tak enjoy blah je lah.

Neeza Shahril said...

Kak Ummu Asiah,

instead of cuba memahami, dia mengutuk pulak..

selamat berpuasa untuk akak juga..

===================================

Raihah,

bagi akak kan, bila baca cerita orang, akak ambik iktibar.. dan akak rasa sama juga dengan apa yang akak tulis..

kenapalah orang susah nak faham kan..

===================================

Kak Jie,

memang manis kak Jie sampai sakit gigi nih :P

kalau dia diam2 aje takpe.. ni dia pergi mengadu domba dekat orang2 yang ada kaitan dengan neeza.. apalah tujuannya kan..

Neeza Shahril said...

Mak Teh,

ooohhh.. dulu tu kes macam ni ke? barulah neeza faham.. hari tu pandai gelak aje kan.. hehee.. Mak Teh tak marah kan.. ;)

neeza rasa pun macam tu.. tapi yang sorang dua tu lah yang merosakkan susu sebelanga.. :(

===================================

Nurie,

waalaikumsalam nurie..
mak mertua nurie pun boleh faham kan.. kenapalah orang yang lebih muda sikit ni tak boleh faham..
takde kerja lain agaknya dia ni..

selamat hari merdeka dan salam ramadhan buat nurie juga :)

===================================

Kak Zany,

bila kita ikhlas, orang kata pulak..
agaknya diorang ni suka tengok orang menipu aje agaknya kan..
geram aje rasa..

nadia yuna said...

akak..
siapakah yang telah membuat hati akak saya ni terluka? isk isk isk! ni gewam neh!

humm, buat yang berkenaan tu, tak baek tau mengutuk orang, berdosa ok! dak kecik pun tahu mende ni ya. Sila fikir-fikirkan.

okeh akakku sayang..
sila senyum cenggini ya =)
manissssshhhh sangat.

** nadia belajaq pasai empati tu =) digunakan dalam sesi kaunseling =)

nadia yuna said...

aduhhh.. berterabur nadia komen. mata da ngantuks =p

Kak Elle said...

neeza this is the price we have to swallow being a blogger...what we put into it is for ourselves so if others not happy with it sorry to say please don't bother to come again....

selamat menyambut ramadhan.

13may said...

Ya Allah....terkejut saya dengan perkara ni. Selama saya mengikuti tulisan Neeza...Neeza banyak tulis tentang kehidupan Neeza seharian. Kisah masakan, anak anak, santai bersama famili....dll.
Dan terselit selit juga info yang manfaat seperti gelagat dan ragam serta perangai orang2 arab kat sana...

Dan saya sungguh tak sangka...tulisan camni pun ada orang nak terasa.

hmmm...sesungguhnya sudah menjadi lumrah kehidupan...

bukan senang kita nak puaskan hati org....

Oleh yang demikian, baik kita puaskan hati sendiri ajer...hehhe hehhe

Keep on writing!

Selamat Berpuasa :)

Neeza Shahril said...

Nadia,

tapi kan dik.. rasanya dia tak baca comment2 ni.. :(
lantakla dia.. dia mengata, akak dapat pahala kan..

akak tahu nadia belajar sebab nanti orang tu nak jadik konselerr.. nanti leh akak jumpa nadia lak ;)

===================================

Kak Elle,

exactly kak elle! takkan lah neeza menulis utk puaskan hati every person kan..
neeza bukan jual pun my writings.. so kenapa orang nak kisah kan kan..
tapi geram jugaaakkkk.. :(

===================================

May,

orang tu kata neeza mendedahkan cerita family pada orang lain.. salah ke neeza nak share apa yang neeza lalui.. sebenarnya its meant for me.. kebetulan orang baca pulak. neeza tak kisah. tapi orang ni rasa tindakan neeza tu tak betul..

napelah orang dengki kan.. apa yang kita buat semua tak kena. agaknya dia buat semuanya betul ke? dia pun manusia jugak.. entahlah.. sedih betul...

tapi tu lah.. asalkan neeza suka dgn apa yang neeza tulis, lantaklah orang tu..

selamat berpuasa juga :)

Pp said...

neeza...abg arif memahami apa yg neeza lalui dan rasa. dalam berblogging ni, byk juga pengalaman mcm tu ...ada masa tu terasa nak give up jer blogging...tapi tu dulu2 la...masa baru2 terkena. tapi, like u said lah Ja...you are you.....and you write abt you, your life! sapa tak suka tu, pi la buat blog sendiri ka, baca lah blog KJ or Ceh Det sana ka...hehehhe.

Your blog is one of those saya selalu juga masuk baca....tak pernah terasa pulak yg neeza TerOver!

oh, peribahsa tu, english nya .."No wind, trees no boogie!"

selamat berpuasa!! saya mohon maaf sebelum kita mula berpuasa.....semoga di terima puasa kita.

Pp

Neeza Shahril said...

Abg Arif,

Salam.. hehehe... haah kan.. baca je lah blog 2 tu. mesti seronok orang gitu kan. kihkihkihhh.. sakit perut neeza gelak..

oh oh!! kelah sungguh peribahasa Abg Arif nih.. buleh la Ja boh dalae idiom thesaurus ni deh.. hehehehe!!!

Selamat berpuasa utk Abg Arif dan family juga.. neeza pun mohon maaf atas semua kesilapan..

elisataufik said...

I think as long as you write with the intention of just sharing, bukan tulis untuk menyakit kan hati sesiapa, the readers will see it, irregardless of what some wayward ones may say :)
The truth will prevail :)

keep on blogging!

l i e y n said...

don't worry kak neeza, i love to read ur blog....keep it up sis!

l i e y n said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kassim Selamat said...

Neeza....dunia berblog camtu ler gaya nyer, macam ragam manusia nii.

Yang penting ni blog neeza....suka hati ler apa yang hendak neeza tulis.

nanti bagi saya address orang yg banyak songel tuu....nak luku kepala dia sikit!

shahmey shahril said...

Elisa,

I thought so.. cuma geram sikit dengan orang yang rasa every single thing should be kept secret.

Macam tak reti bersosial pun ada..

===================================

Lieyn,

THanks lieyn :)

===================================

KS,

orang tu ada dekat2 sini.. jauh tu nak datang KS.. hehee..