Peer pressure vs Peer Influence

What is Peer Pressure? In one of the dictionaries, it describes as 'the influence of a social group on an individual'. In laymen terms, we could say it's the need / urge to conform to the similar kind.


What is Peer Influence then? To me, peer pressure leads to peer influence. When a person feels the need to conform to his/her similar kind, he/she will be influenced to do what ever the peer does or ask him/her to do. Thus, he/she will be accepted in a group. Therefore, everyone is happy! (Happy in a sense that they are same kind now - nobody is different from anybody else).


Don't get me wrong, please. I'm not gonna write a social psychology article today (though I wish I could - I'm not ready yet and not in this blog I guess..). Also, the reason why this blog is created is not because I want to write something too academic. I'm writing because I feel like to write about my experience here, my kids, current happenings and anything that come to my mind at any time and whenever I like it :).


The topic came to my mind the moment I observed my 2 growing up daughters - Sophea (Kakak) and Sobhan (Coan) recently. The age different between them is 2 years. If they're friends, they can be considered as peers since the age difference is not that big. Furthermore, my kids are not allowed to go out after school. Kakak's friend is Coan and Coan's friend is Kakak when they are at home.


What really amaze me was (though I've learned this in college, I didn't experience it then) the peer pressure that Coan has on Kakak (instead of the other way around). Coan (the younger) can influence Kakak to do whatever she asked her to do. Just about anything.


Yesterday, both abang and I observed a few instances. Kakak was having dinner with us while Coan was in front of the TV (Coan refused to eat because she was full with other tit bits that she had before). Then Coan called for Kakak,

"Kakak, mari sini kejap!"

Kakak whose hand was full with rice, could stop and quickly run to Coan. I told her not to to go but she said,

"Takpe, kejap aje"

After she settled things with Coan, Kakak came back and finished her meal. Abang and I just looked at her. Abang said,

"Kenapa kalau neeza panggil dia banyak kali, dia tak menyahut pun, apatah lagi nak datang. Tapi Coan panggil sekali aje, terus berlari tu.."

I just smiled. Actually I've noticed this for a few times and I did tell abang about it. But abang couldn't care less because he didn't observe it himself. Now that he witnessed it, he agreed with me.


It happened again after that. We were in our room. I was about to finish praying when Coan asked Kakak to throw a sweet wrapper of hers into the trash bin,

"Kakak, buang ni!"

Kakak who was busy doing her homework was about to stop when Abang said,

"Coan, pergi buang sendiri. Kakak kan sibuk tu.."

But Kakak offered herself,

"Takpe bah... kakak ambik tong sampah ye"

Kakak even offered herself to take the trash bin so that Coan didn't have to get down from the bed!

"Tak!! Coan turun pergi buang sendiri"

Abang was a bit firm this time.

"Kenapa semuanya nak suruh Kakak? Coan tak boleh turun buang ke?"

Abang scolded her. Then, Coan got down from the bed and threw the wrapper herself. The trash bin was in the room. It was only 3 steps away! But, the not so rajin Coan really made use of her obedient Kakak.


It happened again after that when Abang and I were in the kitchen tried to assemble our new oven (my first baking oven ever heheee.. though it is a small one, it'll be useful to bake cakes, pizza, roast chicken etc - waahhh.. macam rajin aje bunyi heheeee). Kakak was looking at the oven when Coan called her,

"Kakak, sini!"

Kakak run (not walked) quickly to Coan. Abang said,

"Tengok tu, dia boleh berlari bila Coan panggil. Tapi kalau abang ke, neeza ke panggil dia buat tak tahu aje..."


Actually I did ask Kakak once,

"Kenapa bila Coan panggil, Kakak cepat aje pergi? Kakak takut Coan ke?"

"Nanti Coan tak nak kawan Kakak..."

"Ummi kan ada. Kakak boleh kawan dengan Ummi."

"Ummi kawan Shahmey aje..."

Hahahaha!!! Ummi friend's with Shahmey. A 33 opss!! (will be 34 this November) years and a 9 months can be friends??


I guess that is called a peer pressure. Kakak spend most of her time with Coan. She played Barbie Doll with Coan. She played mak mak (wonder why they call it mak mak and not mak ayah hmmm..) with Coan. She played cikgu cikgu with Coan. She played masak masak with Coan. She even built toy house from hardcover books (yes, they used the Gr0lier's Books to build house! - of course it made me angry everytime I saw and also made Abah to get frustrated with me who was responsible to ask abah to pay - "Beribu abang beli, last last buat rumah... bukan baca pun" Sorry la abah... I hope they will read those books one day :)).


I guess, next time when I want to call for Kakak and ask her to do anything, I need to ask Coan to call and ask her on my behalf.. Heheheheeee..